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Time jumps like some magic rebound
I am not sleeping at all. I can't think. I am very tired of it.
1. I was in the middle of a work crunch last week when I read that Helen Dunmore had died. Once again, I hadn't even known she had cancer. I'm not even sure I knew she was a poet as well as a novelist. (The poem quoted at the end of the obituary is excellent.) I had discovered her a few years ago with The Greatcoat (2012), a breathtaking ghost story set in the echoes of World War II; she followed it with the post-WWI The Lie (2014), a messier, equally haunting novel about a young veteran whose shell-shocked eidetic memory matches the way time seems to have crazed and jumbled in the wake of the war, like the mud-caked apparition he keeps seeing of his oldest friend and first love and commanding officer who died on the Western Front. "Things ought to stop once they're finished, but this won't stop. They say the war's over, but they're wrong. It went too deep for that. It opened up a crack in time, a crater maybe. Once you fall into it you can't get out again." I was reminded of Nick Murphy and Stephen Volk's The Awakening (2011). I am not at all surprised to see from her bibliography that one of her early novels was titled Talking to the Dead (1996). I had just been coveting the paperback of what I thought was her latest novel, Exposure (2016); it didn't look supernatural, but it might surprise me. She has one last novel and one last poetry collection. I'm sure I'll track them down. I just didn't want a last anything from her for a long time to come.
2. In the wake of Delta and Bank of America pulling their sponsorship from Shakespeare in the Park's Trump-inflected Julius Caesar, I hope everyone remembers that five years ago the Acting Company staged an Obama-inflected Julius Caesar which nobody seems to have boycotted for proxy-assassinating the President of the United States and the lesson here—aside from double standards as usual—is the multivalence of the play, which is why people keep performing and reperforming it against all kinds of different political backdrops and I trust it will outlast most of them, especially the current administration.
3. How did it take me until tonight to learn that the Ronald Reagan impression on the 12" mix of Frankie Goes to Hollywood's "Two Tribes" was performed by Chris Barrie? (The civil defense broadcast is Patrick Allen doing an impression of himself.) He also imitates Mike Read as well as Reagan on the 12" mix of "The Power of Love," but that was less weird for me. It wasn't already on my iTunes.
1. I was in the middle of a work crunch last week when I read that Helen Dunmore had died. Once again, I hadn't even known she had cancer. I'm not even sure I knew she was a poet as well as a novelist. (The poem quoted at the end of the obituary is excellent.) I had discovered her a few years ago with The Greatcoat (2012), a breathtaking ghost story set in the echoes of World War II; she followed it with the post-WWI The Lie (2014), a messier, equally haunting novel about a young veteran whose shell-shocked eidetic memory matches the way time seems to have crazed and jumbled in the wake of the war, like the mud-caked apparition he keeps seeing of his oldest friend and first love and commanding officer who died on the Western Front. "Things ought to stop once they're finished, but this won't stop. They say the war's over, but they're wrong. It went too deep for that. It opened up a crack in time, a crater maybe. Once you fall into it you can't get out again." I was reminded of Nick Murphy and Stephen Volk's The Awakening (2011). I am not at all surprised to see from her bibliography that one of her early novels was titled Talking to the Dead (1996). I had just been coveting the paperback of what I thought was her latest novel, Exposure (2016); it didn't look supernatural, but it might surprise me. She has one last novel and one last poetry collection. I'm sure I'll track them down. I just didn't want a last anything from her for a long time to come.
2. In the wake of Delta and Bank of America pulling their sponsorship from Shakespeare in the Park's Trump-inflected Julius Caesar, I hope everyone remembers that five years ago the Acting Company staged an Obama-inflected Julius Caesar which nobody seems to have boycotted for proxy-assassinating the President of the United States and the lesson here—aside from double standards as usual—is the multivalence of the play, which is why people keep performing and reperforming it against all kinds of different political backdrops and I trust it will outlast most of them, especially the current administration.
3. How did it take me until tonight to learn that the Ronald Reagan impression on the 12" mix of Frankie Goes to Hollywood's "Two Tribes" was performed by Chris Barrie? (The civil defense broadcast is Patrick Allen doing an impression of himself.) He also imitates Mike Read as well as Reagan on the 12" mix of "The Power of Love," but that was less weird for me. It wasn't already on my iTunes.
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2. *side-eyes people* (Also, yay, JC! I kind of hesitate to mention that at the risk of sounding worryingly obsessive, but, er, you do know that the BBC 1979 Julius Caesar has David Collings as Cassius, right? (It is simultaneously both awesome and hilarious. My favourite bit is where the guy who dies on top of Cassius at the end, falls dead on him the wrong way round and Richard Pasco has to stand there and continue to give the speech as if he's fallen the right way round. I expect they were threatening to switch off the lights & there was no time for a retake.)
3. I didn't know that, but then he would have been doing Spitting Image at the time, so he would have been a fairly logical choice. (Also, yay, you like Red Dwarf? How did we avoid each other this long??)
And, btw, as I may forget otherwise, I was watching a Thriller episode yesterday and thinking it was v S&S-ish and then realised, no, literally, it looked just like the A1 set. And then realised that while Thriller had some ITC involvement, it was made by ATV who made S&S only a few years later, so it probably was part of the same set. (No wonder time shenanigans happen - what do you expect if you re-use part of a house that's been occupied by a black magician who's lived for 150 years by taking life from other people? Steel would have been even more frowny if he'd known.)
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I will probably try Ingo just because the series seems to have started with the Mermaid of Zennor, but I'm hoping Talking to the Dead lives up to its title. You might like The Greatcoat. It does really good things with hauntings and time.
*side-eyes people*
I am getting really tired of the stereotype of sensitive liberal snowflakes when the party in power has so far displayed all the fortitude of an ice cube in a blow dryer.
Also, yay, JC! I kind of hesitate to mention that at the risk of sounding worryingly obsessive, but, er, you do know that the BBC 1979 Julius Caesar has David Collings as Cassius, right?
*pencils onto schedule*
I did not—the last time I was looking at casts for the BBC Television Shakespeare, David Collings was not on my radar. Keith Michell as Mark Antony, Virginia McKenna as Portia, Charles Gray as Caesar, okay, sold. Thank you.
My favourite bit is where the guy who dies on top of Cassius at the end, falls dead on him the wrong way round and Richard Pasco has to stand there and continue to give the speech as if he's fallen the right way round.
That's magnificent.
(Also, yay, you like Red Dwarf? How did we avoid each other this long??)
"You would gamble your safety for a mere android? Is this the human value you call—friendship?"
"Don't give me that Star Trek crap. It's too early in the morning."
Red Dwarf (along with Blackadder) was one of my formative college experiences. I was distressingly fond of Rimmer by the end of the first series. A significant percentage of the dialogue went into instant memory: I haven't actually seen the show since my sophomore-year friend group maxed out after the first half of Series VII, but that has not stopped lines like "Today's fish is trout à la crème," "And that includes the time it took to eat the pizza," or "Reboot startup disk, offline for thirty-six hours, and replace head" from seeing regular use in our household. (Also the gazpacho soup metaphor is occasionally really useful.) I believe it was the second piece of television I really cared about as a sentient person, the first being Babylon 5. So, yes. I like Red Dwarf.
We may not have met because I am not at all active in internet fandom: I can talk endlessly about things on friends' journals and my own, but my interactions with the community as such are limited to reading Yuletide and writing fic on an average of once a year (Lackadaisy twice, one Red Shift: Interplanetary Do-Gooder, one Pacific Rim, one Narnia, and one Benjamin January). I also don't know if it would have made a difference that until April I was primarily on LJ.
(No wonder time shenanigans happen - what do you expect if you re-use part of a house that's been occupied by a black magician who's lived for 150 years by taking life from other people? Steel would have been even more frowny if he'd known.)
Seriously! That can't have helped anything.
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Heh, RD was part of my uni experience too! I had, once before, put on RD (somewhere in S2) and decided, in some disappointment, that it was too silly to watch, and then at uni a friend made me watch Back to Reality followed by most of S6 in one night, and then - whenever we could rent out a video player and ealier eps on VHS - she educated me on the rest of it. Maybe it's an obligatory part of student life?
The first half of SVII was a sensible place to stop, although I am happy to report that X and XI have actually been pretty good, especially X, which did some nice character stuff. (XI gets the odd downmark simply for not really following up on that development.)
I was distressingly fond of Rimmer by the end of the first series.
This also seems to be pretty obligatory, I feel. :-)
I believe it was the second piece of television I really cared about as a sentient person, the first being Babylon 5. So, yes. I like Red Dwarf.
Okay, I hate to keep throwing TV shows at you (especially v old ones) but someone else I think mentioned Blake's 7. If you love JC, B5 and Red Dwarf as well as S&S and don't mind watching old stuff, you should definitely add it to the list. It's part of the DNA of B5 - JMS has always been very open about it being one of the inspirations for it (and indeed, even quoted it in the show on a couple of occasions, including Avon's "I'm not expendable, I'm not stupid, and I'm not going" line. I watched them the other way round - indeed, watched it because all my fellow B7 fans told me to - and was delighted when that happened. I do wonder if he also saw S&S at the same time, but the particular things that made me wonder are A6-related, so I'll say no more as yet.)
Anyway, B7 is an odd thing, it really is. It's always hard to rec. It's sort of a mash-up of 1984, Robin Hood (in Space), and Shakespearean tragedy with the worst SFX you've ever seen and the most fabulously OTT costumes. It's bleak, grim, and glam-rock all at the same time. Nobody knows who the seven are (are there seven?) and it doesn't always even have Blake, either. (And S4 feels like it's only a heartbeat away from Red Dwarf somehow. Black humour, uppity AI, and grey spaceships, maybe, I don't know?) It's also like some twisted mirror-verse of ST's Federation, and I don't think that was entirely accidental, given the Federation logo in the show! (It's ST's turned on its side.) But, yes, going by that list of things you like, it'd be worth a shot. S1 is very slow, even for old telly, but it's much easier once you reach S2. If you can find it, of course, because copyright issues with the Terry Nation Estate have prevented a R1 release, but there's usually a selection up on YT and DailyMotion at any given time. If you don't know much about it, don't Google it unless you're keen on major spoilers. (The internet will spoil you for B7 everywhere and anywhere. I made a non-spoilery guide a long time ago for that very reason.)
I also don't know if it would have made a difference that until April I was primarily on LJ.
Heh, snap again! ;-) And, yeah, those fandoms aren't really ones I know, or am in, so we would have silently passed each other like ships in the night.
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Having had essentially this conversation with someone else yesterday, I'm starting to think so. My vector was the one person in our friend group who had seen the show and owned all the tapes through "Ouroboros" and just made a regular program of showing them on the TV/VCR belonging to a mutual friend. I've been trying to remember what we watched after we ran out of Red Dwarf. I was not part of the Buffy/Angel-watching group; neither of those shows ever really took with me. (I was shown some very good episodes of Buffy in grad school which introduced me to Ethan Rayne and confirmed my suspicion about Giles that nobody could possibly turn out that tweedy and mild-mannered by accident, but in general I bounce off Joss Whedon to greater or lesser degrees.)
although I am happy to report that X and XI have actually been pretty good, especially X, which did some nice character stuff.
Nice! The character work of the early seasons was a major factor in my preference for them, so I'm glad to hear it came back, even if it wasn't as fully utilized as it might have been.
This also seems to be pretty obligatory, I feel.
Thank you! I had fights about it with people!
but someone else I think mentioned Blake's 7. If you love JC, B5 and Red Dwarf as well as S&S and don't mind watching old stuff, you should definitely add it to the list.
Blake's 7 has been on my list since college! I actually discovered it through Tanith Lee. I know a fair amount about its premise, characters, and even finale; I've never seen it because of the availability issues and because long-form television is a major investment for me. I watched the most TV of my entire life during the period immediately after grad school when I had a couch to lie on, a TV to stare at, and the physical stamina of a damp Kleenex. The only thing I am actively watching right now is Sapphire & Steel, with Twin Peaks, Leverage, Person of Interest, Steven Universe, and Underground progressing irregularly whenever I'm around the people I watch them with. This situation might change if I had a TV rather than a computer, but on the other hand I'm not sure I actually want a TV.
For the record, the age of a show or a movie is never going to be a dealbreaker for me. Content which may depend on the era in which it was made, absolutely: I got serious whiplash from Wonder Bar (1934) because of the blackface. But it didn't stop me from continuing to watch pre-Code movies like they're going out of style. I get thrown out of stories by bad writing, not special effects or production values. I actually have a lot of trouble when people can't take older art seriously on its own terms. (Rant about the arthouse audience that MST3K'd their way through a 35 mm screening of The Birds (1963) goes here.)
And, yeah, those fandoms aren't really ones I know, or am in, so we would have silently passed each other like ships in the night.
I'm not on Tumblr, either, which might otherwise have linked us up. I read a handful belonging to friends (and will periodically check in on yours if you don't mind), but do not maintain one myself.
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Blake's 7 has been on my list since college! I actually discovered it through Tanith Lee.
I love that Tanith Lee wrote for it! Some people don't like her eps, but I love them, their weirdness and the fact that the B7 universe is wide enough to encompass that.
And, aw, well, I hope the stars align to make it possible one day! It's one of those things that's been influential enough to make it worth it, even if it doesn't live up to expectations. (And it is at least only 4x13 eps in total.)
when I had a couch to lie on, a TV to stare at, and the physical stamina of a damp Kleenex.
Perfectly understandable. *nods* This is kind of me the last few years, hence my disappearance down the old telly rabbit hole. It's just that if I want to talk about all but the most well-known stuff, I have to do a tiresome amount of evangelism first! (Tiresome for both me and other people, especially the other people.) Mostly I just babble wildly and my flist are very kind and humour me. Some even attempt to watch things and either like it too or come away pale and shaking and never trust me again. ;-)
It's been obvious since I read anything about the series that Vila is probably also carrying a placard with my name on it.
If Vila is carrying a placard with your name on it, you had better worry. He's bound to be planning some scam! (And, ha, probably. <3)
For the record, the age of a show or a movie is never going to be a dealbreaker for me. Content which may depend on the era in which it was made, absolutely:
Yay! And ulp in equal measure. Voyages into the past do throw up plenty of attitudes and things that make your hair stand on end! Even the best of things sometimes, in various ways, sadly. (B7 is at least thankfully pretty great on that front - I showed two episodes to my friend the other year and she was highly impressed that they had two women on the flight deck in the 70s, and then even more so when Dayna *points to icon* was in the other ep. And she didn't even see Servalan! - but it has three episodes by Ben Steed, that are so misogynistic nobody knows how they got there. The only debate in B7 fandom on them is whether or not they were so obviously misogynistic they were meant as a parody. (They are Harvest of Kairos, Moloch and Power in case you ever do get around to watching B7, because it's definitely better to be warned first. It's a fandom bonding experience that we all feel better for having gone through or something, though, especially the MANLY MALE that is Jarvik.))
(Rant about the arthouse audience that MST3K'd their way through a 35 mm screening of The Birds (1963) goes here.
Oh no!! (The thought of it is too distressing! I can't even look.) And I know - it's fair enough if people don't want to watch older things or can't get into it. Life's short and unless it's for study, why on earth should they bother? But if you do, then take it on its own terms! *nods* (I get very annoyed about people who are all, "It's so fake, it's so bad, it's unwatchable!" about old British TV. Yes, it's very theatrical and often slow, but once you get into the style, it can sometimes be amazing, and frequently much more complex than a lot of more modern stuff. Also, it's a kind of time travel and that's a value in itself, and we're the first generation that has ever had quite such free access to the past in this way - it's been possible for a while, but it's the internet and DVDs that have made it so much more so.
I read a handful belonging to friends (and will periodically check in on yours if you don't mind), but do not maintain one myself.
My tumblr is mainly where I put screencaps and gifs from old telly and film, so you're more than welcome. Anyone is more than welcome!
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That's another piece of contemporary pop culture I just completely missed. My mother loved their golem episode.
I love that Tanith Lee wrote for it! Some people don't like her eps, but I love them, their weirdness and the fact that the B7 universe is wide enough to encompass that.
May I take it you've read Lee's novel Kill the Dead (1980), then?
It's one of those things that's been influential enough to make it worth it, even if it doesn't live up to expectations.
I'm pretty sure I'll enjoy it! I just don't want to make promises about when.
This is kind of me the last few years, hence my disappearance down the old telly rabbit hole.
Totally understood. It sounds like the rabbit hole is treating you well, anyway.
It's just that if I want to talk about all but the most well-known stuff, I have to do a tiresome amount of evangelism first!
For whatever it's worth, I don't generally find it tiresome to read people enthusing about things they love. It doesn't help me figure out whether I would agree with them if they can't articulate why, but that doesn't seem to be an issue here.
but it has three episodes by Ben Steed, that are so misogynistic nobody knows how they got there. The only debate in B7 fandom on them is whether or not they were so obviously misogynistic they were meant as a parody.
Is this a situation where word of God would help or is God either dead or been hiding from this question for years?
Oh no!! (The thought of it is too distressing! I can't even look.)
It was terrible! There is a reason I have never seen Psycho (1960) and it's that I want to see it for the first time on film and the theaters around here only screen it for obviously ironic occasions like Mother's Day or Halloween and there is no way I'm doing that to myself or the movie.
And I know - it's fair enough if people don't want to watch older things or can't get into it. Life's short and unless it's for study, why on earth should they bother? But if you do, then take it on its own terms!
Exactly! Or rent it with your friends and have a rifftracking party, but don't inflict it on people who bought tickets expressly to see the movie.
Also, it's a kind of time travel and that's a value in itself
Seriously.
it's been possible for a while, but it's the internet and DVDs that have made it so much more so.
One of the most interesting books of film criticism I have ever read was Boyd McDonald's Cruising the Movies: A Sexual Guide to Oldies on TV (1985/2015) because it was more like internet fandom than any criticism I'd read before the rise of the internet. He has favorite actors; he thinks they are hot; he is going to talk to you about them in appreciative, sometimes excruciating, often hilarious detail, generally inspired by running into one or the other of them on late-night TV. In the process he says any number of sharply intelligent things about sexuality and Hollywood and social constructions of gender, but also sometimes he just shows you a picture and explains why its subject is the best. It is wonderful stuff.
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Not yet. I'd only heard about it sometime after watching B7 (which was, er, around 2008-9, I think) and I haven't been able to read properly since 2010 - this year is the first time it's more tentatively normalising. It's been v frustrating. (Hence me and old TV and David Collings; back in 2011, I really couldn't do anything else and it was truly awful. I desperately re-read the Chalet School series slowly, hoping reading would come back in the end and - s l o w l y - it has. I trust. It's still all a bit tentative, as I said.) I'd like to read it, though, when I have brain!
For whatever it's worth, I don't generally find it tiresome to read people enthusing about things they love.
Heh, indeed. I joke, but, yes, it's one of the joys of Fandom/journalling - to hear people going on about the things they love, even if they don't sound like your kind of thing. And, of course, sometimes they are, which is even better. (Although when I'm talking about cardboard telly, I do wonder...)
Is this a situation where word of God would help or is God either dead or been hiding from this question for years?
Oh, no, wherever Ben Steed is, he needs to stay there! 0_o The parody people are few in number and merely faintly optimistic. We all know what the truth is. My friend Liadt watched his Crown Court episodes, and they're pretty much as bad. One of the terrifying things is that IMBD claims he also wrote a children's series. Luckily, I haven't ever found anyone who's watched it. It's just that B7 is comparatively progressive for its era, so THAT in the middle of it is just the most unbelievable thing. But, anyway, if you watch B7 you'll have the joys of analysing Mr Steed's psyche to come for yourself. It defies description. I've watched a lot of British 60s and 70s TV, and there has been plenty of sexism of different kinds here and there, but nothing on Ben Steed levels but Ben Steed. His episodes are so bad you have to keep watching them because you can't believe they really were that bad. But, yep, THEY WERE. Every time.
As I said, it's a fun fandom bonding experience with quotable lines and competitions as to which BS ep is actually the worst. (A subject of actually quite fierce debate, unlike the faint 'maybe it's a parody' one, which really only applies to Harvest of Kairos, which does sort of answer that one in itself. Once may be a parody, three times... :lol:)
Sorry, talking of going on about things (and of all the things to go on about)! But, yeah. Ben Steed. He was a thing. And I hope he's seen somebody about his issues since and is a now a better person and maybe just writes calming poems about gardens or something, if he isn't already dead and they just buried him quietly somewhere.
One of the most interesting books of film criticism I have ever read was Boyd McDonald's Cruising the Movies: A Sexual Guide to Oldies on TV (1985/2015) because it was more like internet fandom than any criticism
Oh, that does sound interesting and unusual! Most film critics like to be dispassionate, except we all know they're not really, because human beings. :-)
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Thank you. That's a very nice drawing of a cat.
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How was he as a space pirate?
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Seems legit.
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No, but you had better the next time I see you!
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3. Rimmer/Reagan - I hadn't known that until you told us. Grief!
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I have a slight preference for The Greatcoat just because of its handling of time, but The Lie is a great novel about different kinds of haunting and how little the distinction between them sometimes matters.
[edit] She wrote this poem, which makes me think of you: "The Malarkey."
Rimmer/Reagan - I hadn't known that until you told us. Grief!
I know! It made perfect sense as soon as I read it, but I just hadn't known—I think if anything I had assumed the voices were done by members of the band. Anyway, then I fell down a Spitting Image clickhole. Oh, my God.
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I am so sorry. I hope that when the weather breaks, if not sooner, things will get better.
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Thank you. The heat breaking would be nice no matter what. I woke up this morning with a nosebleed I totally didn't need.
[edit] I got out for a walk this evening, after the temperature had cooled to the point where it was possible to move around outside without heatsickness. That was pretty great.
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I've never watched Red Dwarf, but I watched a ton of Spitting Image.
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"The game for all the family!"
I've never watched Red Dwarf, but I watched a ton of Spitting Image.
I had read about Spitting Image, but never actually seen any until last night. It's like the Muppets by Ronald Searle.
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You know, I keep hearing that!
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At least that way you get blank verse!
I enjoyed, in their different ways, both of these articles.
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Even better, Banquo is silent :-)
I enjoyed, in their different ways, both of these articles.
I'd seen the humor article, but the serious opinion piece had some good lines too :-)
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Yeah, but what if he keeps tweeting?
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I was honestly thinking about this last night, but finally decided I really didn't want to research 45's Twitter feed in order to make an informed guess.
Not sure what Banquo would tweet, though. ("Need independent prosecutor to investigate Duncan murder?")
*snerk*
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The post I just put up is better for the blood pressure.
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If creative arts/theatre people do something you find offensive, the best revenge is usually to ignore them completely.
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Oh, there are, but the nice thing about cultural creativity and art in general is that they can't do that even if they want to, they'll just be wrong.
At various points various political movements have tried to direct art consciously or claim a certain kind of art as theirs, and all that will ever give you is obviously bad art.
People making those assumptions just ends up being a kind of warning label for I Have Not Thought This Through.
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I am not sure about this statement: I find quite a lot of protest art both politically effective and artistically enjoyable and I'm even fond of art created for political reasons other than protest (funded by the WPA, for example) and I don't believe this is a controversial point of view, which makes me think you are saying something different. Could I ask you to clarify?
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However (to go to the most blatantly extreme examples), both the Nazis and the Soviets tried to make Approved Art a thing; it did not work.
In many ways, I think the distinction is this: politically-motivated protest art can produce some of the best art in the world.
Politically directed orthodoxy art is, generally, terrible.
If you try to claim an existing genre of art for your political purposes, it has one of two likely futures:
1) it backfires, because all the good artists who don't agree with your political spin back away, while that art is taken over by people who agree with you but are bad at art
2) it backfires, because the artists rebel, and turn that art against you
For examples of 1, see Soviet Realism, and the terrible art it produced versus the success of subversive art. (While the CIA funded abstract art because the Cold War was weird. Deeply weird.)
For examples of 2, see the really badly-thought-out attempts to appropriate the works of, say, Banksy, or some musicians.
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Fine. You're talking about what I think of as appropriation or instruction of art (I think of "direction" as neutral enough that it was what occasioned mention of the WPA). That I agree with.
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I believe you have just put your finger on something this administration is terrible at doing.
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I am glad they work for you; they never have for me. I've had this for more than a decade. It is just the worst now it's been in a decade and I am thoroughly sick of it.
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I can understand being sick of it. Melatonin usually works for me - I very, very rarely have nights when I can't sleep at all now - but before we found out about it (it's prescription-only and somewhat rare here) mine got pretty awful. I don't really remember the times when I didn't sleep for a few days very well but my housemates do and it was pretty traumatic even for them.
I assume you'll have tried anything else I'll have heard of, so all I can say is you have my utmost sympathy and I hope it gets better soon.
(I mean, I'm sure it will, but you'll sleep eventually! It won't be forever! doesn't help even slightly when I'm telling myself that if I can't sleep and just the thought of saying that to someone else without this level of caveat makes me want to punch myself.)
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It was a kind thought. I have idiosyncratic reactions even to medications that aren't supposed to cause them, so I have never even tried things like Ambien or Lunesta: it always felt like a really terrible idea.
I assume you'll have tried anything else I'll have heard of, so all I can say is you have my utmost sympathy and I hope it gets better soon.
Thank you. I appreciate it.
(I mean, I'm sure it will, but you'll sleep eventually! It won't be forever! doesn't help even slightly when I'm telling myself that if I can't sleep and just the thought of saying that to someone else without this level of caveat makes me want to punch myself.)
Heh. I keep reminding myself I cannot have familial fatal insomnia because by now I'd be dead.
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So do I. I cannot enthusiastically enough support your conviction regarding terribleness of ideas.
I think it was what's known elsewhere as Ambien that gave me hallucinations and also had me doing things like changing my sheets with a bad shoulder injury and not remembering doing so the next day - I just found new sheets on my bed and the previous ones piled by the door.
I also once made the mistake of taking Sudafed while also being on SSRI antidepressants. That gave me auditory hallucinations - I don't recommend that either.